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Rest in Peace, Jimmy Butler
- Updated: March 10, 2015
Editor’s Note: Check out this article and all of Kels’s rankings on Sheridanhoops.com.
James H. Butler III
1989-2015
Hello everyone. Please take your seats.
I’d like to start this column off with a moment of silence for our friend, Jimmy Butler.
(Silence).
Thank you.
Ahem…god, this is tough…ahem. Ahem. Sorry.
What can you say about a guy like Jimmy Butler?
Jimmy was more than just a basketball player to most of us. He was maybe the most improved basketball player of the 2014-15 NBA season.
His life was short, indeed, but in such a short time, he touched so many others.
Colossians 1:17 tells us that…..wait, hold on….I’m getting a phone call here. Sorry everyone.
Oh, it’s Chris Sheridan. Sorry, I have to take this.
“Hey Chris, what’s up? I’m kind of in the middle of something here. I’m helping Bulls fans grieve….wait…what was that?
…Wait, he’s—he’s not dead?
Oh god.
Oh…OK, then. OK, I will. Oh, the rankings? Yeah…go ahead…just. Yeah, you can post them. OK, see you later.”
Well this is awkward.
I’m sorry, everyone–I–I thought Jimmy Butler was dead. I truly apologize for that. I don’t know who this guy is in the casket. Oh….you’re family? OK, yeah go ahead. I’m just going to step down now, and walk away.
——
Whew.
Well, that was awkward.
I really thought Jimmy was dead. You know, it kind of seemed like that over the past couple of days. The Bulls were all grieving, feeling sorry for themselves…I mean, how else do you explain a 14-point loss to the Pacers?
You know what, this isn’t my fault. This is theirs. 98-84 at Indiana…give me a break! Of course I was going to think he was dead, I mean what else—-
Oh…you know what?
This next part is going to be awkward, too. You see, once Jimmy was dead, we couldn’t just sit on our hands. We had to make a move.
We figured voters wouldn’t just hand him the Most Improved Player Award because he was dead like he’s Heath Ledger or something. This is a very instant-gratification society. Everything happens fast. We move on quickly now.
So, without further adieu, here are the top five non-Jimmy Butler candidates for this year’s award.
Sorry Jimmy. R.I.P.
I MEAN…rest your elbow in peace. Give it plenty of rest. And ice. Make sure it heals right, so you can come back in time. And maybe get back on this list.
OK, on to the rankings!
(Scroll down to check them out).
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